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The Divine Rust Tour
Promonium Jesters and Nanochrist

Day 1 - Ottawa
Drive uneventful.
Zaphod's - Small but enthusiastic crowd.
Celleste sick. :( Katja moving to Wisconsin. :(
Show offer for 4-day outdoor with fireworks and trebuchets. Need to find something to launch.
Stayed with Ryan and his cats.

Day 2 - Peterborough
Frightened waitresses, but they came around.
Watched "Event Horizon" for some reason. It doesn't get any better on the second viewing.
Rainy drive.
Speeding ticket because we are badass.
Air conditioning leaking all over the Black Pearl.
Windy stairs + heavy objects + rock show = threw out back first song.
In excruciating pain for whole set. I am old.
Drive to Uxbridge

Day 3 - Uxbridge -> Sault Ste. Marie
Uxbridge - Casa del Promonium.
Cats. Synths. Bacon.
The Angels have the phone box.
Group pic at van.
Lots of being stared at in Barrie.
Terrified clerk at the HoJo's
Shitty wing restaurant.
The Sault. Half way to Thunder Bay.
Wrote riff so awesome it bit me.

Day 4 - Sault Ste. Marie -> Thunder Bay
Giant metal tube on a truck: "Think of all the internets you can put through that!"
"I'm occasionally diagonal to my Johnson."
Creation of Thunder Bay Gang sign.
Schooner of beer. Seriously. A Schooner. Of beer. WTF kind of a measurement is that?
Too much pizza.
No cell service.

Day 5 - Thunder Bay
Reading.
Robot Unicorn Attack!
Surprisingly, Boston Pizza doesn't suck.
YOUR FACE
Wicked show.
Cute girl bought me beer.
Smoke lit with laser! Arm-mounted laser!
Roboskullheadlaserman is my new hero.
Extrememly drunk girl took Rob's sticky, did not blow him.

Day 6 - Thunder Bay -> Winnipeg
World's most infuriating toaster.
Manitoba!
Bracing rainstorm. Soaked after 30 seconds out of car.
Hail.
Brief return of cell reception.
This place is a barn. We'll never fill it.
Pics of bands from shows long ago - FM, Triumph, Helix.
"I ain't givin' no one no fuckin' R."
Enthusiastic crowd, came right up front and rocked the hell out.

Day 7 - Winnipeg -> Brandon
Short drive. Slept in. Checked out Winnipeg.
ROCHEFORT 10! IN THE FREAKIN' LIQUOR STORE!
May throw out some gear in order to make room.
Bought Voivod and Zappa shirts.
Best Jamaican beef patty ever.
Looking forward to pizza and all-ages rock-out in Brandon.
Brandon.
All-ages rock out was awesome.
Drunk girls think we're all hot but me. They are wrong.
Why is this thing spring loaded - GAH! HOLY CRAP!
Flaming, milk-based shooters.
Steve snorted cinnamon for some reason. I think he may regret that.
Gracious host has best 70s shaggin' sofa ever. With a bar built into it.
There was no shaggin'. Very little sleep, either.
Apparently we are DOING IT WRONG!

Day 8 - Brandon -> ?
Plan is to get to Medicine Hat for a night off.
First day I've not managed to get a shower.
Breakfast at Humpty's. Did not get busy in bathroom.
Drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive.
Medicine Hat. There is a giant teepee.
Giant burgers at cavernous sports bar.
YOU HAVE DEFEATED ME, GIANT BURGER!

Day 9 - Medicine Hat -> Calgary
SYNTH MUSEUM!
Best place ever. I'm moving in.
I played a Buchla. A giant, modular, 1968 Buchla. My life is now complete.
Drunk jock idiot giving us promo advice. Wants to touch my hair.
Guy upstairs literally fishing for smokes.
Smoke fisher's door kicked in by large angry man in a towel.
He does not like techno.
Small but awesome venue. Great show.
Really nice bar staff.
Ciel signed body parts.
Tandoori chicken pizza.
Denny's full of strippers.

Day 10 - Edmonton
Where is my sunglass lens?
A book store with no Science Fiction section is not a book store at all.
Cool venue, but in the middle of nowhere.
Hey, where did this crowd come from all of a sudden?
Urinated on day job competitor/supplier's wall.
Motion lights activated as I was leaving. Guess their security is as good as their support.
Slept in van. I am too tall for that.

Day 11 - Edmonton -> Saskatoon
Woke up with a ticket. Fucker.
Awesome bratwurst.
Found a pile of Perry Rhodan books.
Also Rochefort 6 and Unibroue 16.
West Edmonton Mall.
Roller coaster. Shooting range. Water park. Skating rink. HUGE!
Drive to Saskatoon. No hotels due to convention.
Found a motel with the "O" and "E" burnt out. Therefore, it says "METAL".
No, drunk homeless man, you and your friends cannot party in our room.
No, not even if you bring that case of beer.
Also, that's not beer, it's yellowish, vaguely fermented water with corn syrup in it.

Day 12- Saskatoon
Souvlaki!
Found a book store with two copies of Dr. Adder.
Also had another Jeter, and a Brin short story collection I'd never heard of.
Venue owner is cool.
Pawn shop. Synths! $400 for a DX21? Pfft. No.
Technical difficulties, but a good show.

Day 13 - Saskatoon - ?
Drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive,
drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive,
drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive,
drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive,
drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive,
drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive,
drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive,
drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive.
Juno works at an A&W in Brandon. At least, I think I'min Brandon.
Drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive,
drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive,
drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive,
drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive.
Kenora? Kenora!
Rogue Dead Guy Ale and sweet, sweet sleep.

Day 14- Where the hell am I? Oh yeah. Kenora. So... Kenora -> ? (Possibly Wawa.)
Myke Adaptiv was born in Kenora. And yes, he has the dinner jacket to prove it.
I just saw an airplane land on water. I thought that was really cool. Yes, I am a city boy.
Drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive,
drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive.
DRIVING ON THE RUmBLE STRIP WILL NOT GET YOU AN APPLE!
Drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive.

Day 15 - Still driving.
Fuck hotels. Keep driving.
HOME!
Celebratory Rochefort on patio.
Have been up around 30 hours. Should sleep. Go to Art Bar instead.
Beer. Poetry. Douche with ponytail.
Ponytail douche needs a good, solid kick in the teeth. Does not get it.
Home.
Sleep.

Day 16- Studio.
Intended to spend day watching Doctor Who and not moving.
Accidentally wrote a song, instead.

Day 17 - Sofa.
Why is my Cubase computer broken?

Day 18 - London
Keep thinking of the backwards episode of Red Dwarf. "Nodnol".
Love this venue. Good show.
Sammy's Souvlaki!
Orphan Grinder are awesome, have the coolest shirts.
Jazz Discharge Party Hat in parking lot.
Consider putting it in the douchebag band from next door's hood scoop.
Everyone is afraid to go near it.

Day 19 - Toronto
Last show. Hometown.
All my best girls are here and-- HOLY CRAP, NANOSTICKERED BOOBS!
A whole bunch of 'em! Nice ones, too.
It was all worth it for this moment.
Oh yeah, we also played a show.
Joined PJ onstage at end of show for epic, if unrehearsed, rendition of "Burning Inside". My other shirt truly does have a skull on it.